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[DC Comics - AU] Lost Art
When I have new music, I get inspired! My muse for the Hollywood DCU came back, and with it? Came new fics that I am only too eager to share with the rest of the world. ♥ As always, thanks goes to my amazing co-conspirator, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
robot_mule, for dealing with my plotbunnies.
Title: Lost Art
Fandom: DC Comics
Universe: Hollywood DCU
Characters: Roy Harper, Wally West, Garth (Idyll), Kyle Rayner, Lilith, Dick Grayson [mention only], Donna Troy [mention only],
Summary: There is a reason Roy Harper and Wally West are not allowed to play substitute hosts for a television show. Garth sets out to prove Kyle right, but in the end? Wally and Roy did all his work for him.
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me! I am just borrowing ideas for what should hopefully be one amusing fanfic. =)
Something about Roy Harper, Wally West, and a art show struck Garth as a very, very bad idea. Even behind closed doors, these actors were well-known for the path of destruction and terror they leave in their wake! Sure, Roy Harper and Wally West (collectively known as "the Harper-West triplets") were amazing actors who took after their mentors... but outside of the acting realm? All bets were off.
So when Garth heard that his childhood best friends were going to substitute-host for Kyle Rayner's Art Appreciation show? He naturally wheeled and pleaded with his acquaintance. There should be no reason to be so desperate that Kyle needed Roy and Wally as hosts! And yet, even after Garth literally fell to his knees and begged, nothing came of it.
"Donna said they were fine on her show," Kyle had argued. "I need to take a break to take care of some business. If they can handle a cooking show, surely they can handle my show."
Garth, remembering every bit of that conversation, had reminded Kyle to buy art insurance: "You never know what Roy and Wally are capable of." Kyle, being the cautious one, reluctantly agreed.
Still, something about the situation was ominous. Garth immediately requested the rights to visit the set for its next taping. He had asked Donna and Dick, his other childhood friends, to help him patrol for damage, but both declined. Dick was still rehearsing for his next Broadway show - something about Jersey Boys? - and Donna was out of town with her older sister. If anyone could stop the Triplets? It would have to be Garth.
Thank god this show wasn't filmed in front of a live audience. He still had to weave his way through the throngs of tourists ("Ohmigod, is that Garth Idyll? Like, Arthur Curry's ward?") and the occasional screaming kid, but when he arrived inside the studio? The only people watching this taping were him, some other bigwig, and the other crew members on set. Plopping down in a seat beside said bigwig, he furrowed his eyebrows. She looked vaguely familiar... where had he seen her before?
"Hey, Garth," She grinned at him. "I didn't know you liked art."
OH. Lilith! How could he have forgotten Donna's best friend and one of his former costars? Shaking his head, Garth gestured towards the bumbling hosts, "I'm not. More like I'm here to make sure they don't kill themselves."
"A good reason as any," She laughed, placing her hand over her mouth as she followed his gaze. "I hear the Harper-West Triplets are known for their mass destruction."
"You heard right, unfortunately," Garth sighed, slumping into his seat as he rubbed his temples. "God only knows how much longer they can keep this up."
The big lights turned on; a wave of silence rose through the rooms as all eyes turned to Roy and Wally. Both men managed smiles as they cheerfully waved to the camera.
"Hello, art connoisseurs! I'm Wally West---"
"---and I'm Roy Harper! We're filling in for Kyle today, so bare with us as we take you through his collection of Japanese folk art."
Oh god. Did they even know anything about Japanese folk art? Garth buried his hand in his hands. Wally walked towards one particularly large landscape. Gesturing to it with his hand, the redhead commented, "So we're looking at this piece. Commissioned during Japan's Edo period, it was made in the 17th century."
"Unfortunately," Roy piped up as he stood on the opposite side, "We don't know the artist. But just look at the detail work!"
"Yeah! I like those birds---"
"Wally?"
"Yeah?"
"Those are sheep."
THUD. Lilith turned to see Garth banging his head against the back of his chair. She stared for a few seconds before she hesitantly, tentatively stared to scratch his back.
Wally, ignoring the sounds of Garth's breaking brain, laughed nervously, "Sheep! Right, right! The detail work on these sheep are amazing. Camera Guy! Come see it in close up!"
He then held up the painting ("WALLACE WEST! What do you think you're doing?!") to the camera. Without warning, someone - or something- stepped on his toe. The painting slipped.
Everyone heard the loud CRACK! in mere seconds.
Roy stared down at Wally's foot, "... Well, you used to be able to see it in close up."
"I wonder how much it'll cost now."
The banging from Garth's head? Evolved into cursing and the occasional low, painful moan not unlike a whale. Roy and Wally briefly looked in Garth's direction before they continued to focus their efforts on yet another painting.
"You see this piece of a young man? It's simply gorgeous--"
"WALLY! Watch out, you'll tear----" RIP! "---it off."
Stunned silence (save for Garth's painful moans) filled the area as Roy and Wally nervously dumped the painting off-stage.
"Moving on!" Roy coughed. "We'll show you some paintings of sheep. Japanese people simply loved their sheep!"
Said paintings of sheep? Barely survived Roy's touch. He merely brushed over them, and in mere seconds, those white sheep became blueberry sheep. Needless to say, the curator inspecting the art was not pleased.
The painting of a young man transformed into "Painting of a Young Man with Tears" while the artwork of a landscape became "Art of a Dying Cat." (No one knew how that last one happened either.)
Lilith could barely keep Garth in his seat. He was simply shaking and moaning too much for one adult woman! Poor guy, he kept moaning something about paintings and "I told Kyle so, I told Kyle so..."
"All right folks," Wally quickly intervened, "That's all the time we have!"
"I hope you enjoyed our intermission," Roy jumped in, waving nervously to cover up one angry Japanese curator and about twenty destroyed paintings, "But tune in next time to see Kyle and his amazing Picasso pieces! I'm sure it'll be a blast!"
"And remember," Wally cut in as he was chased off-stage, "Art is not Art unless it was created from the heart!"
Garth never did see the ending of that taping. By the time Roy and Wally had been forcibly kicked off stage, he had already fainted.
Lilith took one look at him before calling the local paramedics. "Poor guy," She sighed as she watched the men take him away. "I guess there's some things you really can't prevent after all."
robot_mule, for dealing with my plotbunnies. Title: Lost Art
Fandom: DC Comics
Universe: Hollywood DCU
Characters: Roy Harper, Wally West, Garth (Idyll), Kyle Rayner, Lilith, Dick Grayson [mention only], Donna Troy [mention only],
Summary: There is a reason Roy Harper and Wally West are not allowed to play substitute hosts for a television show. Garth sets out to prove Kyle right, but in the end? Wally and Roy did all his work for him.
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me! I am just borrowing ideas for what should hopefully be one amusing fanfic. =)
Something about Roy Harper, Wally West, and a art show struck Garth as a very, very bad idea. Even behind closed doors, these actors were well-known for the path of destruction and terror they leave in their wake! Sure, Roy Harper and Wally West (collectively known as "the Harper-West triplets") were amazing actors who took after their mentors... but outside of the acting realm? All bets were off.
So when Garth heard that his childhood best friends were going to substitute-host for Kyle Rayner's Art Appreciation show? He naturally wheeled and pleaded with his acquaintance. There should be no reason to be so desperate that Kyle needed Roy and Wally as hosts! And yet, even after Garth literally fell to his knees and begged, nothing came of it.
"Donna said they were fine on her show," Kyle had argued. "I need to take a break to take care of some business. If they can handle a cooking show, surely they can handle my show."
Garth, remembering every bit of that conversation, had reminded Kyle to buy art insurance: "You never know what Roy and Wally are capable of." Kyle, being the cautious one, reluctantly agreed.
Still, something about the situation was ominous. Garth immediately requested the rights to visit the set for its next taping. He had asked Donna and Dick, his other childhood friends, to help him patrol for damage, but both declined. Dick was still rehearsing for his next Broadway show - something about Jersey Boys? - and Donna was out of town with her older sister. If anyone could stop the Triplets? It would have to be Garth.
Thank god this show wasn't filmed in front of a live audience. He still had to weave his way through the throngs of tourists ("Ohmigod, is that Garth Idyll? Like, Arthur Curry's ward?") and the occasional screaming kid, but when he arrived inside the studio? The only people watching this taping were him, some other bigwig, and the other crew members on set. Plopping down in a seat beside said bigwig, he furrowed his eyebrows. She looked vaguely familiar... where had he seen her before?
"Hey, Garth," She grinned at him. "I didn't know you liked art."
OH. Lilith! How could he have forgotten Donna's best friend and one of his former costars? Shaking his head, Garth gestured towards the bumbling hosts, "I'm not. More like I'm here to make sure they don't kill themselves."
"A good reason as any," She laughed, placing her hand over her mouth as she followed his gaze. "I hear the Harper-West Triplets are known for their mass destruction."
"You heard right, unfortunately," Garth sighed, slumping into his seat as he rubbed his temples. "God only knows how much longer they can keep this up."
The big lights turned on; a wave of silence rose through the rooms as all eyes turned to Roy and Wally. Both men managed smiles as they cheerfully waved to the camera.
"Hello, art connoisseurs! I'm Wally West---"
"---and I'm Roy Harper! We're filling in for Kyle today, so bare with us as we take you through his collection of Japanese folk art."
Oh god. Did they even know anything about Japanese folk art? Garth buried his hand in his hands. Wally walked towards one particularly large landscape. Gesturing to it with his hand, the redhead commented, "So we're looking at this piece. Commissioned during Japan's Edo period, it was made in the 17th century."
"Unfortunately," Roy piped up as he stood on the opposite side, "We don't know the artist. But just look at the detail work!"
"Yeah! I like those birds---"
"Wally?"
"Yeah?"
"Those are sheep."
THUD. Lilith turned to see Garth banging his head against the back of his chair. She stared for a few seconds before she hesitantly, tentatively stared to scratch his back.
Wally, ignoring the sounds of Garth's breaking brain, laughed nervously, "Sheep! Right, right! The detail work on these sheep are amazing. Camera Guy! Come see it in close up!"
He then held up the painting ("WALLACE WEST! What do you think you're doing?!") to the camera. Without warning, someone - or something- stepped on his toe. The painting slipped.
Everyone heard the loud CRACK! in mere seconds.
Roy stared down at Wally's foot, "... Well, you used to be able to see it in close up."
"I wonder how much it'll cost now."
The banging from Garth's head? Evolved into cursing and the occasional low, painful moan not unlike a whale. Roy and Wally briefly looked in Garth's direction before they continued to focus their efforts on yet another painting.
"You see this piece of a young man? It's simply gorgeous--"
"WALLY! Watch out, you'll tear----" RIP! "---it off."
Stunned silence (save for Garth's painful moans) filled the area as Roy and Wally nervously dumped the painting off-stage.
"Moving on!" Roy coughed. "We'll show you some paintings of sheep. Japanese people simply loved their sheep!"
Said paintings of sheep? Barely survived Roy's touch. He merely brushed over them, and in mere seconds, those white sheep became blueberry sheep. Needless to say, the curator inspecting the art was not pleased.
The painting of a young man transformed into "Painting of a Young Man with Tears" while the artwork of a landscape became "Art of a Dying Cat." (No one knew how that last one happened either.)
Lilith could barely keep Garth in his seat. He was simply shaking and moaning too much for one adult woman! Poor guy, he kept moaning something about paintings and "I told Kyle so, I told Kyle so..."
"All right folks," Wally quickly intervened, "That's all the time we have!"
"I hope you enjoyed our intermission," Roy jumped in, waving nervously to cover up one angry Japanese curator and about twenty destroyed paintings, "But tune in next time to see Kyle and his amazing Picasso pieces! I'm sure it'll be a blast!"
"And remember," Wally cut in as he was chased off-stage, "Art is not Art unless it was created from the heart!"
Garth never did see the ending of that taping. By the time Roy and Wally had been forcibly kicked off stage, he had already fainted.
Lilith took one look at him before calling the local paramedics. "Poor guy," She sighed as she watched the men take him away. "I guess there's some things you really can't prevent after all."